open letter...

Effort n. earnest and conscientious activity intended to do or accomplish something

Pride (in your work) n. Pleasure or satisfaction taken in an achievement

Consideration n. Thoughtful concern for others; solicitude

Expectations n. A standard of conduct or performance expected by or of somebody

The following is a letter that i sent out to an insurance company...

This is a letter i unfortunately had to send...
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April 10, 2006

XXXX XXXXX
Coughlin & Associates Ltd.,
Ottawa, ON K1S

RE: Group Life Insurance
PlanCertificate: XXXXXXXX

Ms. XXXXX,

Per our conversation, I received the required death claim forms, along with your personalized letter.

I would like say that it was very nice of you to have taken the time to personalize your cover letter and offer your sincerest sympathy, however you may want to verify the details of the deceased prior to sending the letter.

In this case, your personalized letter stated “We regret to hear of the death of your father…” as much as your condolences are appreciated, what would have been even more appreciated in this difficult time was if you had taken the time to verify the gender of the deceased.

In this case, the deceased is female, making her my mother not father. I believe the gender of an insured life is a vital question when applying for life insurance and you would have that information on file.

If you don’t have the time to research the details for a particular case, then I suggest you either not offer your condolences or leave it generic so in the future you will not upset those that have been left behind, as well as trivialize the death of a loved one.

Should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at the address listed below.

Sincerely,
XXXXX (Miss.)

cc. MGR
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...clearly my expectations were to high.

the freedom of choice....

Cancer n. Any of various malignant neoplasms characterized by the proliferation of anaplastic cells that tend to invade surrounding tissue and metastasize to new body sites.

Re•search n. Scholarly or scientific investigation or inquiry

Cure n. Restoration of health; recovery from disease

Propagandist n : A person who disseminates messages calculated to assist some cause

Proliferation v. To increase or spread at a rapid rate

Choice n. The power, right, or liberty to choose

My company is entering a Relay for Life team to raise money for cancer research. They want employees to participate and I was asked by several colleagues what I was going to do…would I run, just raise money etc. The assumption was that I, of course, would do something. Why is it that people assume that I will be doing something.

Do we as a society feel we NEED to donate to the cancer society b/c the propagandists say so…b/c that’s the cause du jour… b/c – jeez, uhmm, why?? B/c we all want to wear the pink ribbon...b/c it may help…b/c both my parents had cancer? Yes I’m a cynic and I think we might possibly, I know this will be a stretch for some, but we might just be part of a systematic proliferation of a doctrine. Given a choice, how many people will donate to the black ribbon campaign vs. the pink ribbon campaign. Oh sorry – you don’t know what the black ribbon campaign is…it’s not one of the 45 plastic bracelets you are wearing? Shhh FYI – the black ribbon is for Melanoma (alterative colour is orange), mourning, primary bilary cirrhosis and/or gang prevention – your choice. Aren’t we democratic?

In any case - my response to my colleagues has been that “I don’t want to” (gasp). I just don’t want to and it’s as simple as that. They looked at me with disbelief – at which point I told them I had to go have a smoke and left irritated b/c I had to explain why I don’t want to donate to a cause that I choose not to (btw – I am now 7 days smoke-free).

I understand that 2 in 5 people will get cancer. I understand that I could be one of those 2 people who will get cancer. I understand that over the next 20 years, new cancer cases will increase by 60%. What I also understand is that there is no cure. I understand that in the last fiscal year $155M was donated to the Canadian Cancer Society. I understand that $44M was directed to fund “excellent research”. I understand that $44M of $155M is 28%. I understand that there is no cure.

I know I know advancements have been made, people can live longer who previously would have died, greater care is apparently available and this is all great…but have YOU lived with cancer to really know how great this is or are you part of the population that assumes living longer w/ cancer is a better alternative to quickly dying…cure the damn thing...isn’t cancer just bad cells multiplying? We can travel to space, we have unraveled the human gene sequence), women can give birth in their 60’s to healthy babies…but we can’t cure the big C.

About 2 years ago, I had a friend say this very same thing to me – that she wasn’t going to donate b/c after all of the donations why haven’t they found a cure. I was mortified that I actually knew someone that would think like this…but now I’m not so sure she is wrong.

I wonder if it is so far out of the realm of possibility to imagine why there is no cure…is it so hard to believe that if they found a cure…well then who would donate to the cause?

If you do give to the cause – good for you…and I’ll pray to all of the gods that you never need to benefit from your donation…but remember just because it’s your choice don’t assume it’s mine.

my body is a temple...

...and therefore I need to worship it. I need to eliminate those pesky refined sugars, simple carbs and processed foods. I need to embrace cauliflower, organic chicken and become a granola girl. I need to sell my stock in Burger King, denounce alcohol and join the movement, which of course means I have to detox.

1de·tox
Pronunciation: (')dE-'täks
Function: noun
often attributive : detoxification from an intoxicating or addictive substance

Well lets be honest, there are a number of substances that I can choose to detox from…and I’ve decided to detox all of them out of my system. I head over to my favourite health food store (yes favourite is a strong word when it comes to health food stores). Anyhoo, to find the answers to all my unanswered questions - I head over to Carrot Common (http://www.carrotcommon.com/history.html) on the Danforth b/c of course there is nothing in the 905 area. I ask the woman what she would recommend - she hands me a 12-day detox kit. 12 days???? I ask for something in the 3 day range and she masks her impatience quite well and tells me that 12 days is better then 3 b/c it’s not a shock to the system and easier to make it a habit vs. just a detox etc etc – I’m sold…hey I’m just a lamb in a wolf’s shop what do I know - I pay the $34.99 for the Wild Rose Detox Kit and off I go.

The next dilemma is when do I start. If I start the detox immediately – the last day of the detox will be one day b/f my birthday. But it seems a little silly to detox for 12 days and immediately partake in beverages (wooohooo I’m 25% closer to being a granola girl). So I decide to start on January 30th, besides this gives me a few weeks to plan and get mentally prepared for the event and yes it is going to be an event.

So I study the information in the kit for days and ponder what I am going to buy, cook, and eat. I research info on the web; e.g., the kit says I can eat all the millet I want. Well let’s be honest, I’m Indian – I don’t know what millet is, what to do with it or where to find it. In any case – the whole detox thing doesn’t sound so bad - it seems like I can eat quite few things b/c what I didn’t want was the food list to be restricted to lettuce soup. Anyways - I sort out a menu for the first three days and off I go to places I’ve never been before…I’m stocked up on veggies, domestic fruit (no international fruit), fish, millet, tofu etc. I’m now 50% closer to being a granola girl. Aside from the “right” food - I have three different types of herbal supplements to take: cleansherb (who knows what exactly this is), herbal laxative (I think we get it), bile stimulant capsule, and CL herbal extract that I put in water. I have to do take all of this before breakfast and before dinner. Still seems easy enough.

So the day comes and I’m ready – the first two days go well, and then I hit a snag on day 3….I hate my lunch, I HATE THE FOOD. Boooooooooooooooooo I want my Thai food, the pita pit, ohh a banana. I mean what am I doing taking something to stimulate my bile flow. Plus – I’m still waiting for the light to go off…something to tell me that I’m 10% detoxed, I’m 20% detox, today is day 5 and I should be 42% detoxed but I feel no different. Excuse me? Someone, anyone…what exactly is the point?

Isn’t life short enough, and do I really want to be prolonging my life by eating well and living to 94? I’m into reincarnation - I have another life waiting for me out there so I don’t need to/want to live until im 94.

All these 5 days have reinforced is that I am not interested in being a granola girl, w/ good cholesterol, stable blood pressure, healthy BMI or is it waist circumference (last year my MD went by BMI, but this year he went w/ waist circumference…I guess it’s the new trend…you know – what yoga was 12 years ago)….I’ve started this detox thing – so I’ll finish it…February 10th is the last day of this detox and for that I will be grateful.

So take that granola people – my body is my temple and I’ll pray to whatever gods I want, preferably the high glycemic, chocolate loving, alcohol swigging variety of gods – b/c I can.

My body is my temple…not a temple…MY temple.

random rant...

to rant (n):
Violent or extravagant speech or writing.
A speech or piece of writing that incites anger or violence:

This isn’t what I was originally going to post…however I just couldn’t help but rant re: James Frey…but don’t worry I’m not violent. You all must have heard about the controversy? It was actually on the FRONT page of the Toronto Star last Friday…front page? I suppose if I had to make a choice of what should appear on the front page – I’d grudgingly choose Oprah over another story about the Boxing Day shooting.

So to recap for those who do not have cable, have no access to the this thing called the worldwide web and may even predate newspapers: late last year, our beloved Oprah chose James Frey’s “A Million Little Pieces” to represent the Oprah Book Club. Frey, a former alcoholic and drug addict, wrote a memoir and it is his heart wrenching, mesmerizing, riveting, provocative, gripping, willpower infused road to recovery story that had millions captivated.

Okay so that’s a little over the top but what else do you expect when Oprah voices her opinion - good or bad. For example,

Good – With Oprah’s backing, Frey’s book went from being a good read to something of epic proportion rising to the top of the non-fiction best seller list.

Bad – Remember the Hermes incident - the store that was condemned by Oprah b/c it doesn’t allow po’ black people in?? Oh I’m sorry, what happened was that it didn’t let Oprah Winfrey in or was it all black people or just all po’ people…I’m so confused.

Anyhoo I digress…it was this same book that has now led to Frey’s tumultuous downfall. Apparently overlooked by the editor, publisher, lawyer and pretty much everyone else including Oprah’s producers were a few embellishments made by Frey…okay okay a few alterations…grrr a few ideas that were voiced in a different way…okay damn it – I’ll say it (deep breath)…they were LIES (I’m so ashamed).

So what – he lied. He embellished in his book; he wrote that Lily died by hanging herself but in reality she cut her wrists. He said he spent 87 days in jail but it was only a few hours – [insert gasp]…say it aint so. Let’s not forget about the Novocain…did he or did he not have Novocain while having two root canals? Or was it one root canal? Well with the audience gasping in despair – it seemed apparent our hero to zero had lied in the book.

I suppose that if you’re the type to find solace in books…then you may very well be offended and demand a refund of $11.99 + GST and PST (on a positive note, at least that pesky GST will be going away shortly).

At the beginning of this whole hoopla, even Oprah did not think it was a big issue and she went on Larry King Live to say that she still supported the book because the “essence” of the book was true and given this truth we can all overlook the slight embellishments b/c he is still a hero to millions.

Well within a week she had a change of heart – maybe HARPO stocks had plummeted in value. She went from believing in the “essence’ of the book to stating that her mind was ”clouded” by the positive emails that she had been receiving from readers saying that Frey’s book had essentially saved them…hallelujah praise the lord. What a minute…Oprah clouded? Weird. Doesn’t she have anti-clouding personnel on her staff? Well, from clouded she became 3D (disappointed, disgusted, and duped (my personal all time favourite)).. and Oprah 3D can only mean one thing…

…the darhlin’ of TV sitting righteously, hand on hips, lips puckered, looking at Frey with utmost disdain, seething with anger (with being duped of course) eyes full of condemnation demanding Frey to say he lied….

Oh oh oh wait – I almost forget the sanctimonious video inserts where a number of well known journalists stated that how wonderful Oprah was. How “big” of her to admit a mistake in front of billions…to say that she was wrong with initially supporting Frey. FTLOG. As for Frey, he was called everything from a liar to cheat to having a boney ass (although how that has any journalistic cred is beyond me).

Talk about hero to zero in seconds – that’s the power of Oprah. 40% of this democratic country can’t get off their asses to vote but we sure like Oprah. And now Frey is in his basement glued to his crack pipe.

In the whole scheme of things – this is all very easy for me to say…after all I’m not a drug addict or an alcoholic nor do I really turn to books for answers to life. But I’ve got the luxury that half the world doesn’t listen to me (although they probably should).

At the end of the day – where does all this get us? Well James Frey is still at the top of the best seller list (good for him); Oprah still has her adoring fans (why is beyond me); and contemporary capitalism still carries on. Who are the real losers? Aside from the alcoholics and drug addicts that were being “saved” by the book - I’d wager a guess that it’s those people that can’t decide what book to read on their own.

the inner feminist quietly rages…

so while I was getting my hair cut on Friday night – I was listening to an interesting conversation that was occurring next to me. The conversation was about going on a first date – Sarah was going on a first date with a guy that she had just met, why she wasn’t going out for coffee or a drink so that she can make a quick exit is beyond me but whatever. So Jeff was telling her that since this was really Sarah’s first date AND she was going for dinner she should make sure she didn’t eat too much b/c the guy would be turned off by such a whopping appetite.

HUH?

Do men really want their women to be nibbling on nothing? And do woman actually comply? So do women go for dinner eat lettuce and then run home to a tub of Haagen-Dazs b/c by that time they are so hungry that all rationale thought process has gone to hell? Or I suppose she could eat before the date – but you need to eat well enough in advance so that you can actually nibble on something otherwise you’ll be too full.

OMG.

Who can go through this cesspool of dating…I suppose a better (?) alternative could be to just get drunk and make out w/ a younger version of Justin Timberlake and at least you have a great story to tell.I mean if a woman was dating a guy who she could run faster then – would she be expected to run slower so he can “beat” her – what a preposterous thought maybe he should try running faster – wow what a concept. I’m not saying this is common practice but the thought is no different then not eating on a first date.But it gets better

…so here’s another story, which I’ll call “weighing of the prize cow…”Niki just got engaged to Mike, both of them are really nice people who you can have conversation with….although every once in a while they say something that makes you think; e.g., Mike on occasion has been known to say that if Niki gains any weight – it’s all over. Now we don’t really know what that means – and you have to wonder if there is an element of truth to this mockery. In any case, Niki was out with the girls regaling us with stories re: her engagement and she had the most “fascinating” story: after she got the ring, Mike pulled out the scale – told her to get on it, she did and then told her that she needed to ensure that she didn’t gain any more then 10 pounds by the time their wedding rolls around next year (pigs do roll right?). HE MADE HER GET ON A SCALE??? Now what’s wrong w/ this story…that Mike actually told her to get on the scale or that Niki actually did?

the inner feminist quietly rages…