i am not the biggest loser….

fat (adj.) - having too much flabby tissue; corpulent; obese; plump; well-fed

rationale (noun) - the fundamental reason or reasons serving to account for something

…I wasn’t even close. I was about 12 lbs away from being the biggest loser. 12 lbs. That’s 12 sticks of butter - imagine that. No really imagine that -12 sticks of butter.

I have spent the last 8 weeks and over $300 being part of The Biggest Loser at my local gym. It’s similar to the T.V. show just without the big weight scale and the commercial breaks.

I have spent more hours in the gym then I care to admit, I have spent time logging every single morsel of food that goes into my mouth so I can keep track of my caloric intake. I have spent a lot of time running on the treadmill, the elliptical machine, the bike, the stair master, the arc trainer and the damned rowing machine, which gave me calluses beyond belief. And I have spent a lot of time being tired.

The last eight weeks have certainly been hard - a lot harder then downing that junior whopper burger with extra pickles, poutine and a coke.

I have always loved weight loss stories. I love watching them and I love reading them. I can sit and cheer-on these people who I have never met but am buoyed by their stories. Maybe I love them because I can relate to them – although I always think that if I am watching a successful weight loss story on TV – then there’s got to be more to it then meets the eye. There has got to be a conspiracy by the network and that’s why the person has lost weight – clearly the person could not have done it on their own.

I know there are people out there who can’t understand the concept of being FAT. I mean why don’t all of us FAT people just stop eating so much – why don’t we just put down the damn fork? And it should be that easy but instead over the years, we’ve made our real (or perhaps no so real) emotional and mental issues the rationale as to why we’re FAT (thanks Oprah).

It is not all Oprah’s fault, after all there is always an excuse for not trying to lose the weight. I am busy. I am tired. I have a headache, I have no time. I have to work. I have to look after my children. I have to eat that tub of ice cream because it is there. I have to do my laundry. Actually I have no clothes to wear to the gym so I can’t go. It’s never going to work so why bother. I’ve lost 2lbs in 4 weeks – why bother. I’ll start on Monday. I’ll start next week. I’ll start on the 1st of the month. I’ll start January 1st.

The point is, I did the hard work but even when I was doing the hard work I really didn’t think it was going to work - at least not without heroic measures. Remember I have a lifetime of learnt behaviour and 8 weeks wasn’t going to change that. It is probably the hardest work I’ve done in a long time and the reality is there is no other way. At the end of the day I’m 15.6lbs lighter, there’s 20cm less of me and I have a BMI of overweight instead of obese. Sadly enough, that still doesn’t make me a believer.