I AM a britfender…

societal piranhas (ab) voraciously carnivorous large social groups who often attack and destroy

…yes you read right and I’ll say it again – I am a Britfender. Please keep your rolling eyes to yourself because I too have had my share. I have heard everything everybody has had to say about Britney Spears and good for you for having an opinion, even if it is on Brit. But at the end of day, if I’ve said this once, I’ve said it 1,000 times - yes I am a defender of Britney Spears now hear me roar.

I believe in karma and reincarnation (stay with me, there is a connection). Combining the two gets you - karmic reincarnation. I don’t believe we live on this earth once, just for someone to point you to heaven or hell. That would essentially be a waste. This is where karmic reincarnation comes into play because the basic ideology is that:

a) People are reincarnated and keep on being reincarnated until they reach enlightenment and for some that is a very very very long time
b) What you do in this life directly impacts your next life – so your bad deeds will in fact come back to haunt you
c) Essentially your path is chosen for you based on a) and b) above
d) And no you can’t go from being human in one life to being a goat in the next life (although some scholars beg to differ but this is my story)

So if you can follow my train of thought, there are two obvious thoughts here:

- Clearly Brit will need to be reincarnated a “few” more before she even comes close to enlightenment, and
- Just try to imagine what Brit must have done in her previous life to be in the mess she is in now?

And that is why I am a britfender.

I’ve heard all that the naysayer’s have had to say – which ultimately boils down to the fact that she is a product of her own actions and we should not feel bad for her. Well, remember that the next time you are in a traffic jam when you're already late; see a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break or meet the man of your dreams and then meet his beautiful wife (or not so beautiful wife). I believe that is what they call karma.

It’s all relative baby. And that’s what people forget.

So the question is why aren’t you a Britfender? I love the moral high grounded people - they are so visionary. Perhaps you have caught that green debilitating disease, otherwise known as envy? Are you jealous of the money, the fame and everything she has – you would have to be lying if you said otherwise. Wouldn’t you want everything she has, has done and is doing? Oh wait that’s right, you would be able to handle it so much better. I forgot. Regardless of your position on Britney, let’s make sure that you have zero sympathy for her for the right reasons.

Of course there are the some things that she probably could /should control; i.e., she could stop flashing her nether regions...or better yet wear some underwear; she could stop antagonizing the paparazzi or even stop dating them…she should just stop…period. But for whatever reason, whether it’s because she is bi-polar, has 54 personalities, is surrounded by enablers, is just plain dumb or is part of this karmic reincarnation phenomenon - she can’t. Maybe that is what happens when your entire life has been choreographed by someone else.

The problem is that I don’t know the real answer, I don’t know her reality and neither do you.

What we all DO know is what the media puts out there and we just lap it up. Shouldn’t the media have some responsibility in this colossal mess? Who is more to blame? The media that feeds society’s incessant need for information or the societal piranhas that have created a niche for the paparazzi. Are these two things even mutually exclusive?

Then I was reading an article in The Star that came on the heels of Brit being strapped to a gurney, taken to the hospital and being put on a suicide watch…the article had two awe inspiring thoughts and I knew where I wanted the blame to lie. The author stated that:

1. The media is not to blame, because once Brit flashed her private parts – it was all fair game, and
2. It is her time to pay

Uhmm not really so awe inspiring.

Why do we want her to fail and what does she have to pay for? For being rich? For not realizing what she has? That’s her prerogative…does she owe anybody anything? People will argue that she is a role model but when exactly did she get that title? When she was dressed as a catholic school girl, with two pony tales, gyrating round and singing “hit me baby one more time?” Well if it makes you feel any better, not only was she hit – she has been pummeled straight to the ground. (Hanna Montana should watch out…)

A lot of people love the soap opera known as the “Life of Britney Spears” – maybe because she has what you (materially) covet and that evil part of you can’t help but smirk at her demise. Why should she have everything when you’re in a dead end job, with a berating boss, a wife you can’t stand and a girlfriend you want but can’t have? Just to clarify, in case there was any misunderstanding, the only reason your life is not in the news is because it is essentially common and most people would rather slit their throat on a jagged edge of a corn beef can then listen to your story.

And that pretty much sums it up - you’re eating corn beef out of a can while Brit is chugging from a $535 bottle of Cristal.

Karma’s a bitch.