do you have a uterus?...

uterus n. An organ in female mammals for containing and usually for nourishing the young during development previous to birth that consists of a greatly modified and enlarged section of an oviduct or of the two oviducts united, that has thick walls consisting of an external serous coat, a very thick muscular coat of smooth muscle, and a mucous coat containing numerous glands, and that during pregnancy undergoes great increase in size and change in the condition of its walls called also womb (hmmm was that a bit much??)

obsequious adj. Full of or exhibiting servile compliance; fawning.

..."do you have a uterus?" was the 2nd question asked by my new personal trainer – sandwiched somewhere in between “Do you have a few minutes to chat?” and “Did you eat before you came here?”

For those that know me – I think we can agree that I’m generally a confident/strong individual…but “do you have a uterus?” had a strange effect in me…I had to think…do I in fact have a uterus? and more importantly is answering “yes” the right answer.

The problem (other then the question itself) was that I had no time to think…she just kept on firing questions…

- do you have implants
- have you had children
- are you on birth control
- do you have “gas” problems (???)

I was unable to make eye contact and had a thousand thoughts going through my head as I tried to figure out in the .05 seconds between questions what exactly I was doing here and why all of the sudden I felt like I was 12 years old doing this repetitive head nodding/motion/twitch “thing” every time she said something. I found myself astonishingly obsequious to this former professional wrestler with 15 years experience named Dixie Bell.

Don’t you just love it – Dixie Bell. Say it with me “Dixie Bell” - “Dixie Bell” - “Dixie Bell”

Let’s be honest - half the reason I chose her was because of her name. And she is fabulous. In 65 minutes…I found my gym soul mate…and let me tell you that is not an easy thing to do…as a side note – the last trainer I had was about 4 years ago – and he was more interested in the booty’s available at the gym as opposed to making mine à la J. Lo.

So I guess the moral of this story is:

a) do not judge a person by their name (this is to all you Dixie Bell’s, Chastity’s, Charity’s and Englebert Humperdink’s out there)

and

b) you really should know if you have a uterus or not…